Balancing Act: A School Psychologist and Parent Shares Ideas for Setting Social Media Guidelines
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School psychologists are well aware of the toll social media can take on students’ mental health. Yet educators often wonder how much to get involved with issues that might seem like “parenting,” and certainly social media use could fall under that umbrella. The good news is that our input is likely to be appreciated, as confirmed by a recent study from The Pew Research Center, in which nearly half of parent respondents said they’ve looked to teachers for advice on managing screen time.
In the same poll, 71% of parents said they worry their kids have too much screen time. As a parent of a 10-year-old and a six-year-old, I know firsthand that the struggle is real. While my kids don’t have smartphones of their own, they’re still plugged into the digital world. For example, my son enjoys videos on YouTube and engages with various apps that allow him to chat with classmates and teachers when working on group projects.
Because my kids are just beginning their social media journeys, I’m aiming to start on the right foot by setting healthy boundaries. Here are some steps I’m taking. I hope they inspire discussions with your students’ caregivers about the use of screens and social media in their home environments.
1. Prioritize safety.
First and foremost is addressing privacy and security issues. We’ve all heard the horror stories of adults or even peers who use social media to prey on kids. Examples include predators that lure them into sending compromising photos, then demand a ransom to keep them private. And we’ve all mourned when confronted with the tragic news of kids being bullied so horribly via social media that they've suffered significant mental health crises or even ended their own lives.
While it can be tempting to assume an authoritarian role and tell kids that social media is too dangerous, today’s digital natives are unlikely to comply. Instead, I advise initiating an open dialogue where you can discuss the pros and cons of social media and the importance of safeguarding personal information.
The goal is to highlight precautions they can take to help mitigate the potential they will be exposed to online predators or identity theft. For example:
- Have they enacted strong privacy settings to lock down who can see their accounts?
- Do they avoid sharing personal details, like their address or whereabouts?
- Are they aware that adults often impersonate kids to gain access?
- Do they feel comfortable talking to you about comments they’ve seen that are hurtful or dangerous?
While we can’t eliminate all the bad outcomes, we can help kids be aware of their vulnerability and equip them with best practices to combat potential risks. Keeping the door open to productive discussions makes it more likely a child will come to you if they find themselves in a troubling situation.
2. Establish ground rules together.
Developing a social media plan collaboratively is a great way to encourage conversation as you set goals and standards for screen time – theirs and yours, too.
One template I recommend is the Family Media Plan, from the American Academy of Pediatrics. You can select parameters that are beneficial to your family, such as avoiding device use on the way to/from school and limiting home screen time to common areas. A couple of specifics that resonated with my family were an agreement that we would review video games together before purchase and that online or in-app transactions must be approved.
Having an open mind and discussing these issues together shows kids you’re approaching this from an empathetic perspective, rather than mom and dad or grandma and grandpa saying, “Do this; do this; don't do that.” Kids are more likely to follow protocols when they’ve helped to set them.
3. Familiarize yourself with the basics.
As educators and parents, we are most effective when we approach new ideas with an inquisitive perspective. I recommend parents download and explore some of the most popular social media apps to see what they’re all about.
For example, it’s easy to dismiss TikTok as a platform populated by superficial influencers, but you might be surprised to see how it helps kids connect with more diverse communities or seek information on topics ranging from study hacks to cleaning tips. It’s also an outlet to nurture creativity through personal vlogs, skits and dances. And who knows, you might find some comic relief yourself following fellow teachers or middle school parents!
Research parental controls that allow you to maintain a modicum of control while letting kids explore the opportunities these apps offer.
4. Regularly check in on your child’s well-being.
Despite our best intentions, social media use can go awry. Be attuned to any signs of distress, such as changes in behavior, mood swings or declining academic performance or interest in activities. Ask open-ended questions that give them space to talk about positive and negative interactions they’ve had online. If there are concerns, bring them up with your child’s teacher and/or school psychologist. They can first conduct a mental health screener or assessment using tools such as BASC-3, BASC-3 Behavioral and Emotional Screening System (BASC-3 BESS) or the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI-2), and then they can help connect your child to appropriate resources within the school or community to address their specific mental health needs.
Balancing the risks and rewards of social media
It’s an age-old phenomenon: Parents and caregivers have always struggled to understand what makes younger generations tick. However, I think we’re becoming better at maintaining an open mind, rather than reacting reflexively.
Most educators have been early adopters of digital transformation and embrace the role of technology in the classroom – from creating more engaging lessons to streamlining assessments and other vital classroom management tasks.
Learning more about social media can help parents and educators alike work together with their children to navigate the digital world while setting boundaries that can support better mental health.
Want more guidance on how your school or district can maintain open lines of communication with families? Find additional insight in our playbook, “5 Ways To Build Bridges with Families To Support Students.” And, for more ideas on how to support the mental health of your students, visit our Mental Health Resource Center.