Difficult Dialogues: How To Talk With Caregivers About Potential Delays
by Becky Whalen, Speech-language Pathologist and Pearson Assessment Consultant
Working in early education is often a joy-filled experience because we get to watch children blossom over the course of the school year and gain confidence with each new skill and interest they acquire.
Early education professionals embrace the differences of each student — and the unique qualities they display. Yet, while we know kids develop at their own pace, we often become aware of areas where a child may not be meeting the development milestones reached by their peers. Of course, sometimes the child just needs more time and practice to master a new skill or grow out of certain behaviors naturally. However, given the incredibly life-changing benefits that can be realized through early intervention, it’s always best to perform an assessment to determine whether there is a delay and if additional supports are needed. For example, Pearson’s BSRA-4™ establishes school readiness, while PLS™-5 identifies the risk of a speech or language disorder in infants, toddlers and young children.
While education professionals are aware of the options for assessments and follow-up support, it’s vital to engage the child’s caregiver(s) and keep them informed and involved throughout the process. Sometimes those conversations can be tricky, especially if the caregivers are unaware of the need for intervention. Drawing on my experience with sensitive discussions over the years, here are some tips for approaching caregivers in three different situations.
Scenario 1: The caregiver doesn’t notice signs of delay.
It’s not uncommon for caregivers to overlook subtle signs that indicate their child may need more support, especially these days when they may have had less exposure to social situations with their child’s peers. As they assess their child’s progress, caregivers will sometimes mentally check a box for something they believe their child can do, without acknowledging a potential gap between what their child can do independently and what they choose to do independently. Or the caregiver may not realize the extent to which the child relies on their support; for example, if the caregiver offers a stream of cues to help the child with each step of a complex task, like putting on their shoes.
It can be a particularly delicate conversation when parents do not recognize a delay you have noticed. Set the stage by scheduling a private meeting. Start on a positive note, highlighting areas where the child is excelling. Then, emphasize that you respect their understanding of their child and want to share some observations, not diagnoses. Make sure you’re ready with examples gathered over a period of time so you can cite specific anecdotes of how the child compares to grade-level benchmarks and expectations. Finally, suggest that assessment will help identify any issues and explain how early intervention is an important way to ensure the child gets the support needed to thrive.
Throughout the conversation, communicate empathetically and reiterate you — like them — have the child’s best interests in mind.
Scenario 2: The caregiver has approached you with their own concern.
While some families may be unaware of their child’s delay, others might express unease over their child’s rate of progress. Since children spend the majority of their time at home, caregivers often see behaviors that teachers might not. Additionally, a child might be focusing extra efforts on excelling while at school, which could mask an issue.
If a caregiver comes to you with a worry, start the conversation by thanking them for broaching the topic and remind them they are doing their child a wonderful service by raising the issue. Ask them to describe their observations so you fully understand, then assure them you take their concerns seriously and will keep a watchful eye on the behaviors they mentioned.
Share resources, if applicable, so they can familiarize themselves with age-appropriate milestones. If an assessment is warranted, explain the evaluation process and your team approach. Then, if the results suggest a need for additional support, discuss how you will partner with them to help the child reach their goals.
Scenario 3: The caregiver has approached you after a referral.
In some cases, a medical provider will suggest that a child be evaluated based on something they saw during an exam. When a caregiver comes to you with this referral in hand, thank them for being proactive and ask for additional details, including any notes from the doctor and their own observations. Highlight the benefits of early intervention and assure them that an assessment will help determine the next best course of action.
Explain your school’s process for assessments, including information on the timeline and how it will be performed. Share details on what the team of allied professionals will be looking for, along with relevant resources, and reconfirm your commitment to ensuring their child receives any interventions that are needed to help them flourish.
Anticipating the caregiver mindset in sensitive situations
As early childhood educators, we are on the front lines, with the ability and duty to advocate for each of our students by observing red flags, discussing concerns compassionately, and ensuring appropriate follow-up and intervention. No matter what spurs the conversation, responding in an empathetic and collaborative way will build a strong foundation for future conversations and help set the entire family up for a successful educational trajectory.
For more information on navigating tough early childhood education discussions, visit Pearson’s Early Childhood Resource Center.