At school, many days follow a relatively similar plan: circle time, learning centers, snack time, recess, story time, free play, etc. As a result, students who can’t wait to run around and kick a ball with their friends know that the opportunity will eventually come around after they’ve cleaned up their snacks. They also know that after they’ve had their outdoor play time, they need to sit quietly and listen. This consistent schedule helps school children feel confident that their preferred activity is imminent, and it helps eliminate countless inquiries about what’s next.
The power of routines isn’t limited to just the classroom. Caregivers can implement them at home to make daily life easier for themselves and their kids.
Empowering caregivers to embrace routines
Routines provide a sense of empowerment for children and create a predictable environment that can help stave off tantrums born of frustration.
Adults tend to rely on routines without even giving it a conscious thought, and although we like to think we are far more evolved than toddlers, even we can have trouble adapting when our routines are disrupted; for example, when a last-minute all-school staff meeting shows up on a day you had intended to prep the groundwork for an upcoming conference.
Sharing a similar example with caregivers — e.g., their boss requesting a last-minute report — can help them understand changes in plans through their child’s eyes. This perspective shift can underscore why it’s regulating and compassionate to preview days that have out-of-the-ordinary events, such as going to a doctor’s appointment instead of a swim lesson. I often see the most exciting transformation in kids, especially those who have regulatory difficulties, when caregivers take this sheet from our school playbook and institute a routine at home.
You can also let them in on the secret of “voice and choice.” Especially at this age, kids are eager to exert their independence — and it’s an important sign of healthy development. Sometimes we see caregivers who think they’re giving a choice but they actually aren’t. For example, when they ask this common yes-or-no question: “Are you ready to go home?” What if the child says “no?” A better question would be asking the child if they want to carry their backpack or if they want mom/dad to carry it; this provides the child with some actual control over their life. Sharing this strategy can help them smooth out transition times that don’t need to be a battleground.
Giving voice to emotions
Once a routine is in place, caregivers might find much of their child’s unruliness subsides.
However, it might be helpful to point out that another key part of a child’s development is having the vocabulary to explain how they are feeling. Many times children throw a temper tantrum or cry because they’re frustrated, and they don’t have the language to express it.
Caregivers may benefit from hearing and seeing how you explain and acknowledge emotions at school, such as the vocabulary used to communicate emotions (frustration feeling like a “knot in your tummy” or “wanting to stomp your feet”) or the pictorial charts showing faces of people experiencing different emotions that children can use to illustrate how they feel. You can also suggest ways children can learn to self-calm when they’re upset, such as deep breathing, hugging a stuffed animal or sitting in a comfortable chair.
Partnering with parents to promote healthy childhood development
While one of the greatest joys of working in early childhood education is watching children blossom, we also have a front-row seat to one of the most important relationships in a child’s life — with their caregiver. Helping families feel more successful is an extra bonus as we go about our daily work.
For more resources on supporting learning and development in early childhood, visit Pearson’s Early Childhood Resource Center.